It started a few weeks ago, with a twinge in my elbow. Maybe I tweaked it during a tennis lesson. Or slept on it in a weird angle. I could’ve overdid it during an upper body lift. Regardless, my pain in right arm (from my wrist up to my bicep) was increasing, and it needed a break. As I iced my arm and kept it elevated during the day, I also found myself slipping in other areas. I abandoned my workout routine for a couple of weeks, despite sitting in my workout clothes all day. I didn’t drink enough water most days, but always opted for that second glass of wine in the evenings. Wednesday pizza night became multiple pizza nights. I stayed up far too late scrolling through nonsense on the Internet. Every morning, I pledged to do better. But a quick scroll turned into an hour, leaving me late and irritable to get breakfast ready and camp backpacks packed. I’d spend the day vacillating between overwhelm and a desire to numb myself, pushing myself through the evening routine to just scroll for hours and repeat it again. My usual tactics (a Forest timer + Activation audio, a walk with an audiobook, changing up where I work from) didn’t work. I’d switch my scrolling to my desktop or iPad, would look at my sneakers before plodding over to the couch and stared at a blank Substack, willing my brain to find the words. I’d like to tell you I’m on steady ground right now, but I’m not. The hill isn’t quite as steep and I’m slowing down. But I can’t seem to get off the mental seesaw between overwhelmed exhaustion and an irrational need to get back on track (and to an unattainable standard, at that). August is a weird month for me (and was especially brutal last summer). There’s this feeling the need to make the most of these last few days of summer, which is in opposition to our family’s current state (abandoned routines, dysregulation, numbing ourselves with screens). Fighting this slip isn’t working, so I’m trying to embrace it. I need to define a new normal for right now, and stay steady so I can ease into a stop. This is what that looks like right now:
That’s it. No more. It’s easier said than done. If you have any advice on embracing the slip and actually slowing down with intention, I’d love to hear it. If you need to commiserate and share your honest feelings about August and living up to summer expectations, I’m here for that as well. You can also keep scrolling and catch up on my latest Substack posts:
things i’m loving right now
If you enjoyed this weekend’s letter, please consider:
Wishing you a wonderful Sunday. xo,
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I’m slipping. Anyone else?
02:03
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