When my husband me a cup of coffee before 5 am on Wednesday morning, I knew. I didn’t cry (yet). I didn’t drown my sorrows in a bag of Doritos. I didn’t spend hours reading every single think piece or watching cable news nonstop. This time, I chose myself. I picked up my Kindle and kept reading the third Innkeeper Chronicles book (one of my favorite series that I picked up again last week). I sat with my feelings, with the help of Neeti’s ‘sitting with sadness’ meditation. I listed the little things I was grateful for - hot coffee in bed every morning, my sons being healthy and happy, not having a uterus anymore (sad, but true). I went for walks (both savoring and slightly horrified by the 70-something degree weather). I deleted social media apps from my phone immediately after posting this and this, and mass deleted all the news newsletters from my inbox. I didn’t want to be near my phone. If I’m being honest, I still don’t. But I’m not giving up. I’m channeling my emotions into taking care of myself and my family. I’m directing the time, energy, and money I’ve channeled into the campaign over to the nonprofits I serve on the boards of, and to the organizations I worked with this cycle. And I’m using all my ‘special occasion’ things regularly - the pretty teacup and saucer I keep meaning to use, the candles I’ve been squirreling away and never using, and wearing the fancy pajamas for lounging around (instead of an old t-shirt and the oversized flannel pajama pants I ‘borrowed’ 10 years ago from a friend). In 2016, I thought I had to devote every bit of myself into saving democracy (at the expense of my family, my health, and my sanity). I don’t regret it, but I’m choosing to process and proceed differently this time. I told my husband that I was being selfish this time. He reframed it, and said I was focused on self-preservation to stay in the fight. I invite you to enter your own selfish/self-preservation era. Take exquisite care of yourself, as often as you can. Use the special occasion things often (candles, place settings, skincare & beauty products, clothes). Watch and read joyful things. Hang suncatchers in your windows. But also invest whatever time, energy, and funds you are able to into building the world you want to live in. Tech for Campaigns is looking for skilled volunteers to help flip and hold onto state legislatures in battleground states (Elon Musk copied their playbook to help flip Pennsylvania). Engage with your community - for my fellow desis, Indian American Impact mobilizes volunteers and helps elect more South Asians to office. I’m honored to serve on the boards of Feminist Press (one of the longest running independent presses that publishes underrepresented voices), Youth Represent (providing legal services and policy advocacy to help youth of color through the criminal justice system in NYC), and New Morning (a South Carolina-based organization that provides comprehensive, contraceptive healthcare to every resident in need). I’d be happy to connect you with any of these organizations if you’d like to get involved. I would be so appreciative if you upgrade your subscription to help support #5SmartReads (my weekly news series that amplifies underreported stories and underrepresented perspectives). I’m taking a note from Emily Amick and am lowering the annual subscription to $30/month (until November 17, 2024). Be selfish. Choose yourself and channel your energy wisely. And put up your Christmas tree early. We all could use a bit of sparkle right now. Catch up on the latest here:
The Innkeeper Chroniclesby Ilona Andrews Innkeeper is the book series I reach for when I don’t know what I want to read - it’s got a little bit of everything. The inns in these books are magical waypoints for aliens traversing around the galaxy, and their innkeepers (always human) have magical powers that allow them to cater to their guest’s every needs (and keeping them under control). Dina (the titular Innkeeper in this series) deals with it all - an attempted assassination of a vampire lord, a murderous permanent guest in her inn, a prickly chef, and a sexy space werewolf. It’s got a cozy vibe that feels like a Hallmark movie, contemporary fantasy that I really love, and a delightful cast of characters that I miss once I’m finished reading. I also love that they’re on the shorter side, which I definitely needed this week. You can find my 2024 reads here, and October’s reads here. Stitched Notebook Set ( |
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How did I not know that Kelly Rowland has an entire Christmas trilogy? It’s streaming on Hulu & Disney+, and I know what I’m watching over the next week.
I was a bit schlubby this week, living in these pajamas or this t-shirt (honoring my first feminist icon) and the best lounge pants. But once the weather finally drops to appropriate autumn temperatures, I’ll be living in this set.
I’m very much enjoying the high vibes echo chamber that is Threads right now - follow me there!
We buy Hallmark’s annual Star Trek and Star Wars ornaments, and I love watching our tree get a bit nerdier every year.
A few books to help move forward right now: A Healthy State of Panic, Financial Feminist or Rich AF, Rest is Resistance, Democracy in Retrograde, The Small and the Mighty. Build your wealth, protect your peace and your rest, and learn the history that school refused to teach us and how to stay in the fight.
If you enjoyed this weekend’s letter, please consider:
tapping the ❤️ icon below
tapping the 💬 and share how you’re taking care of yourself
upgrading your subscription, if budget permits. #5SmartReads is sent every Tuesday morning (and Substack will cover your first month!).
Please take exquisite care of yourself this week.
xo,
HPN
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