Think you’re a people-pleaser? Name three people you’ve pleasedThe Spinoff Daily, Wednesday October 16
Ahiahi mārie, welcome to The Spinoff Daily. Today on The Spinoff: Inside the 501s conference, why last-minute changes to the Hauraki Gulf protection bill are stirring up a stink and all the things Christopher Luxon gets.
Gráinne Patterson: “It is said that people-pleasers begin as parent pleasers. We learned how to function in our family, and for some of us, that meant an entire denial of our needs, feelings, opinions, selves. We became flexible, adaptable, moldable to fit into whatever shape our family most needed us to be. As adults, we entrench ourselves in the lives of others, to make ourselves indispensable, to be needed, to be accommodating, to be loved. But forming our adult relationships on these foundations, can make for a rocky start. We leave the people we love guessing about what is real and what isn’t. We tell them we’re happy to help and then sigh and huff about it, we become resentful and hold grudges about how much we’ve given them. We say yes when we want to say no. We keep mental lists of everything we’ve done for them and what they haven’t done for us. Being in a relationship with a person doing this can be utterly exhausting. How are the people around us supposed to feel relaxed or safe, like they know where they stand? This is why it is sometimes said that people-pleasing is a form of manipulation, a way of hiding who we actually are in an attempt to control how people see us.”
Join us for a one-night only live event We’re huge fans of local television here at The Spinoff, and for one night only we want to celebrate some of our all-time faves. Join Alex Casey, Kura Forrester, Rhiannon McCall, Stewart Sowman-Lund and Lyric Waiwiri-Smith at Q Theatre on October 31 as we unearth some beloved TV gems and argue for their place in our history.
All the things Christopher Luxon gets Hardship, healing and hope: A glimpse inside the 501s conference Why last-minute changes to the Hauraki Gulf protection bill are stirring up a stink
Twelve months after an election that delivered New Zealand its first three-party coalition, Gone By Lunchtime’s Annabelle Lee-Mather, Ben Thomas and Toby Manhire cast their minds and hearts back, recall those heady early days and seek to assess the opening stanza of the Christopher Luxon government. How has he fared with two noisy partners? How are the opposition doing? Which politicians have impressed and surprised? And what are the tripwires and opportunities in the year ahead? Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.
The Spinoff guide to life: How to send a text without being annoying ‘I became besotted’: Gavin Bishop on finding Middle-earth in the school journal
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Think you’re a people-pleaser? Name three people you’ve pleased
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