If you love #5SmartReads, would you be open to sharing them? You’ll get perks if you do! Set up your unique share link below and share #5SmartReads with anyone you think would enjoy them! I was reviewing the Streak Tracker for January in my planner, which was focused solely on health goals (100 g of protein a day, not drinking alcohol, workouts, meditation, journaling, drinking my AG1). Most of the bubbles are filled in, and I feel pretty great. But I’m also weirdly annoyed by it.
Ron sums up how I’m feeling - happy in how I’m feeling overall, suffering the old rituals and habits that brought me comfort for so many years. Why can’t I feel this way eating Taco Bell three times a week? Or after a few glasses of wine? Or having watched an entire season of Southern Hospitality in a single sitting? Old habits die hard, and these are resilient little buggers. I touched on this in Friday’s 5SR as I reflected on the lure of ProductivityTok, and I confess that the “I feel so good living this way, but I miss the old way” quandary has been on my mind for the past couple of days. And in the place where we have our best ideas or aha! moments (the shower), it hit me. A lot of my old habits are rooted in comfort, specifically in retreating from the world and the prioritizing the opinions of others. I drank in social settings to feel confident, and bought into the narrative that I could only be my most sparkling self if I had that glass of wine in my hand (and a couple coursing through my body). I would feign social exhaustion as the reason I was sluggish and slow the next day, but let’s be real - it was those few glasses of wine and chasing that floaty, happy feeling for as long as I could. This isn’t the only cycle that was rooted in comfort. My old cycle of weeks of relentless work-days of coach potato life is another one. I love the feeling of being in a flow state and tackling all the work projects, and it rarely occurred to me to stop when I was ahead. In chasing an equally addictive rush from being productive, I flamed out - and would need days on my couch eating Taco Bell that I’d DoorDash and watching old seasons of Housewives. These cycles were very much rooted in how I thought others viewed me, and validating the way I wanted to be seen and recognized. I had taken permanent residence in the likability trap (highly recommend Alicia’s book by the same name). And until this month, I never asked myself the question if I liked myself.
I wish I could tell you that this month left me feeling connected with myself and that this relationship has never been better. If I’m being honest, it’s uncomfortable because it feels so new. I’ve held onto these old cycles (and the emotions that drove them) as absolute truths for decades, and I’m going to need more than a month to write a new narrative for myself. I’m giving myself some space to rebuild my relationship with myself (and to stop fixating on my old self-sabotaging behaviors. And if that means ticking off “no alcohol,” “meditate,” “journal,” and “100 g of protein” most days of each month, it’s a start. What I Read This Week
What Everyone Else Read This Week
Top #5SmartReads Of The Week
This week’s reads (and conversations!) are below: Monday January 30, 2023 Your Questions, Answered Best backpack for little kids? Are you reading Zodiac Academy?! Thoughts?! Did you take maternity leave? How was navigating that stage? With Rhaki, I took 6 weeks and was itching to return to work. My experience is also insanely privileged - I work from home, for myself or my father, and have full flexibility to be able to jump into mom mode in the middle of the day with no repercussions. This should be the norm for those who CAN work from home, and I’m both unsurprised and disappointed in the full-time “return to office” mandates many companies are requiring. What’s your favorite social media platform and why? Your walking pad! Do you have a favorite pair of compression socks for longer flights? I think you mentioned the brand Quince a while ago. What’s your opinion on the brand?? Where do you get all your awesome Eagles merch?
Gift for a friend who is hosting me for a week! Preferable to candles or consumable!
You can also never go wrong with the Tom Cruise cake via Goldbelly (it’s insanely good) Looking for a fun red wedding dress for courthouse wedding. Any suggestions?
As an early stage start-up founder, how do you go about finding a trusted mentor? If you want a tactical conversation with a leader you admire, platforms like the Mother Untitled mentor board or The North (Female Founder Collective’s advisor board) let you book 1:1 sessions with really incredible leaders! What would you do in NYC for spring break? Shows? Museums? Restaurants? Shows that I highly recommend (Six and & Juliet are shows I’ve taken Rho to): If you’re traveling with kids, I’d check Lincoln Center’s calendar for children’s programming - we really enjoy so many of their performances for kids! How do you deal with people who drop by unannounced in-spite of telling them to give you a heads up? This is incredibly disrespectful and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that! And I’m assuming these drop-ins are not welcome. Here’s a stressful week - go Birds! xo, You’re a weekly subscriber to #5SmartReads. To get the daily newsletter, enter your email here.
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issue #168 - the one on liking myself
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