Read more about the Captain’s Club here. Open enrollment closes October 7!
Keep reading for the latest installment of Dear Jeffy (Go Ask Susie). Answers below are attributed to Jeff (JT), Susie (SMT), and (occasionally) Spencer (ST).
Ryan: Can you tell me more about that massive burger? How many pounds is it? How did they cook it? Did Jeff eat it?
Sean: Is that burger part of the band's "per diem"?
Ray: What happened to the burger?
SMT: Oh my god! Jeff, you need to put out a press release that it really was a burger!
JT: It really was a hamburger. I thought it was a cake at first and I was really excited. Not that I wasn’t happy with it being a burger because I know a lot of really wonderful people worked hard to make that burger for me, and I want to make sure they don’t feel like I’m criticizing them, but the way things are in 2022, that could have really been a cake.
SMT: What?! What does 2022 have to do with it?
JT: Before 2019, not everything could be a cake. And now everything can be a cake.
SMT: Everything could have been a cake in 2019!
JT: No! Cake technology made quantum leaps during the pandemic. Pre-pandemic they didn’t bother to make cakes that looked like a pencil sharpener… They didn’t bother to make cake that looked like a pillow…
SMT: You’re soooooo wrong! So wrong! This is not new. There have been boob and wiener cakes for decades.
JT: Those are the easiest things to make a cake out of!
SMT: If you can make a boob and a weiner, you can make a pencil sharpener.
JT: Those were not real-looking boobs and weiners. Those were folk art boobs and weiners!
SMT: You’ve seen one weiner and one pair of boobs in your life. How would you know?
JT: It’s true… The hamburger was given to me right before show time in New Hampshire as a birthday cake. It really was a hamburger, and it had sparklers on it. I was given it too close to show time to eat it. And after the show, I also didn't have time to eat, because I got on a van and went to the airport to fly out to play with Phil Lesh in Chicago. So the burger went in the bus refrigerator, and when I got back the day after, it was still there and I had a slice. The bun was handmade by the chef at the venue. There was a garlic aioli sauce on it. It was a real gourmet hamburger. Gigantic. And I do want more comically large food in my life. Because the photo that Susie took of me with that burger is the slimmest I’ve ever looked. And it’s been a goal now for a long time to find bigger and bigger guitars to make myself look smaller.
ST: It was maybe ten pounds.
Photo credit: Susie Tweedy
Matt: Do you redo their [Sammy and Spencer] rooms when they leave?
SMT: No. They will be permanent shrines to our children so one day they can move back home where they belong.
Rachel: Are you as excited about Iceland as WE are?? Can you share anything about how the Reykjavik residency came to be?
JT: We are excited about Iceland! I have no idea how it came about.
Andrea: What bands are your guilty pleasures?
SMT: Hanson. But I’m not guilty. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures.
JT: I agree. Like what you like. Nobody is gonna lay on their deathbed and say “You know what, I'm glad I never admitted that I like Hanson”.
SMT: They’re so adorable. I think people might be surprised that we all loved and appreciated Justin Bieber in his height of popularity.
JT: We all went to see that movie when it came out.
SMT: And cried.
JT: With the kids, who had at the time—just by genetic coincidence—Justin Bieber-style hair. They didn’t ask for that hair, it just happened. They also happened to be like the only tween boys in the audience and were getting a lot of attention. Do you remember that?
SMT: I remember some girls thought Spencer was JB at Old Orchard. Because he used to flip his hair and they freaaaaked out.
Fieldish: My son Archie is heading into grade 7 in September and will be headed off to a new middle school. He’s nervous, but also excited — and suddenly more concerned than ever with “being cool.”
Among the things he currently considers cool: Wilco, Rubik’s cubes, computers, and both dungeons and dragons. How can we (his mum and me) help prepare him for the realization that he may find a small number of awesome people who share these passions with him?
SMT: What a cutie. I love him. Maybe there are clubs at his school that are about some of those things. Not Wilco, of course.
JT: It may take time to find people who share those interests, but you can also be curious about what other people are interested in and learn about other people, and that’ll be fun. You don’t only have to be friends with people that share all the same interests. You can have those for yourself and still have friends that do other things. But if you want to have other people to talk to about specific things like that, it can take some time. Just be patient and realize just because someone doesn’t share those passions doesn’t mean that friendship isn’t valuable to you. And it doesn’t mean you and your interests are not valuable.
SMT: I think Archie is already super cool and has a lot of super cool interests.
JT: Absolutely. We think he’s the coolest kid at that school without knowing anyone else at that school. Just wear really stretchy underwear.
David: Did Sammy pack his "Sammy's Roumanian" t-shirt?
SMT: I don’t know. But I hope so, because it’s a great t-shirt.
